Read the Fine Print

This should be basic information to any casual observer. Read the fine print before you sign anything, right? Duh! But how many people really do this? It never ceases to amaze me that people see a great offer for something and sign up for it. Then the bill for that great offer comes. Ouch! Why is this bill $300! You did not read the fine print. They didn't tell you about the equipment fees, or the installation fees? Or how about the service charge? I know people who never read instructions. Buy an easy to put together tv cabinet from WalMart. Who needs to read the instructions? Why does that cabinet look weird? Could it be that you didn't read all the instructions and yes maybe those extra pieces have a purpose.Oh and don't forget that when you get a great deal on tv, internet and phone service, there's a catch to that great deal. It's called the charges you didn't read in the fine print. Oops, that $90 deal is suddenly a lot more. Why? Read.

We all look for bargains, especially these days. We clip coupons, we compare prices, we even buy in bulk to save money. Yeah that new flat screen tv was a great bargain, wasn't it? What about all the extra cables, etc you had to buy? Huh? Pay attention next time, you might save some money.

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Long Distance Calls

Sorry - I couldn't resist this. After all I am from Texas!

A man in Topeka, Kansas decided to write a book about churches around the country. He started by flying to San Francisco and worked east from there. Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and notes. He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued by a sign which read: "$10,000 a minute." Seeking out the Pastor he asked about the phone and the sign. The Pastor explained that the golden phone was, in fact, a direct line to Heaven and if he paid the price he could talk directly to God. The man thanked the Pastor and continued on his way. As he continued to visit churches in Seattle, San Diego, Chicago, Greensboro, Tampa and all around the United States, he found more phones with the same sign and got the same answer from each Pastor.

Finally, he arrived in Texas. Upon entering a church in Dallas, behold, he saw the usual golden telephone. But THIS time, the sign read: "Calls: 35 cents." Fascinated, he asked to talk to the Pastor.

"Reverend, I have been in cities all across the country and in each church I have found this golden telephone. I have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to God, but, in the other churches the cost was $10,000 a minute. Your sign reads 35 cents. Why?"

The Pastor, smiling benignly, replied, "Son, you're in Texas now... It's a local call."

Three Socks?

I see a lot of things in this neighborhood. There are still new houses going up everyday. I think the houses near us are just about finished. But there is still a lot of junk around these sites. Daisy loves to inspect these areas. Who knows what we'll find ?

Then there are the three socks. Not two, not four but three socks which are lying on the neighbor's driveway. They have been there for several days now. Why has nobody picked them up? There are a truck and a car which inhabit the driveway. Yet no-one seems to want to do anything about these poor, abandoned socks. Alas, they remain in the middle of the driveway. They have had the sun beat down on the and the rain pelt them. That is when it has rained. The vehicles have run over them numerous times.

To whom do these socks belong? Good question. And why three? Is there a three legged monster living next door? Well, I wonder, I know there are two teenage boys who live there. How come these poor socks have not been put out of their misery? Is anyone going to even claim them? Would you? I'm thinking somewhere a mother is doing the laundry and wondering what happened to all the socks. I know where three of them are.

Sorry Mr Gore...

The True Origin of the Internet

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot.

And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called 'Amazon Dot Com.'

And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou travel far from town to town with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?"

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever moving from his tent.

But this success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did secrete himself inside Abraham's drum and was accused of insider trading. And the young man did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS for short.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to the drum maker, one Brother William of Gates, who bought up every drum company in the land. And indeed did insist on making drums that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others."

And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or as it came to be known "eBay" he said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."

And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."

"YAHOO," said Abraham.

And that is how it all began. It wasn't Al Gore after all.

Happy 4th of July

This day always reminds me of my grandfather's birthday. When I was a kid we would always travel to New Jersey to visit him and some of my aunts, uncles and cousins. My grandfather was born on the 4th of July and my mother's birthday was the 5th. We always had a big party in Grandpa's basement.

It was years later that I learned that he ran away from Germany when he was a teen. He came in through Ellis Island. After lying about his age,he joined the Marines. It took years for them to discover that he was not the age he said he was. He spend 44 years in the Marines serving his adopted country. When he retired he held the rank of Captain. One of these days I hope to go back to Arlington so that I can see his headstone. He was buried there at Arlington National Cemetery. He had a full military detail, complete with a horse drawn caisson and honor guards. My cousins and I, while riding in the limo, were surprised when the other funeral details had to stop and salute.

This is the day we asserted our independence from England. Looking back at those times in history, I marvel at the efforts of those brave men who crafted this historic document which set this country on the path of freedom. To this day there are still those among us who are willing to give their lives to insure that we can always say "Let Freedom Ring". Happy 4th of July to us all.

Put the Phone Down Now!

When are people going to realize that most of us are not gifted enough to text and drive at the same time? Of course some of us can't walk and chew gum at the same time, but anyway...

Texas linebacker Sergio Kindle was treated for a concussion after crashing his car into an Austin apartment building last week while he was either sending or receiving a text message, his attorney said Monday.

Kindle’s attorney, Brian Roark, said Kindle lost control of the car on June 24 while looking at the message.

“It was probably something he should not have been doing,” Roark said. Gee, I could have told him that!

The crash caused about $8,700 damage and no one inside was hurt. After the crash, Kindle pushed the car back into the street and went home. He was checked by team doctors and told he had a concussion but did not have to be hospitalized.

University spokesman John Bianco said Kindle told his coaches about the accident the next morning.

“We’re glad nobody else was hurt and he’s going to be fine,” Bianco said.

Police Cpl. Scott Perry said police are still investigating but no charges have been filed. Perry said police have not talked to Kindle or Roark.

Because Kindle hit a stationary object and did not injure anyone else, he is only required to file a report with the Texas Department of Transportation, Roark said, adding he planned to file it as early as Monday.

Roark said Kindle would pay for the damages himself or through insurance if it is covered.

Guess this gives new meaning to the phrase "Hook em Horns".

Can I Order a Little Rain?

This morning I went out to put the hose to the garden before it all dies with heat stroke. A little while ago I looked out the back windows and saw a dark cloud in the distance. I wondered... The wind kicked up, blowing our little trees around. What's that noise? Oh wait, that is thunder. I remember that noise. Probably nothing will come of the little cloud.

Traci told Aryn to go outside and look at the clouds. "It might rain" she told Aryn. Upon hearing that, Aryn began to pout and whine. Why did she do this? She was upset because the rain would cut off the satellite and she would not be able to watch "Max and Ruby". Some kind of cartoon show, I guess. She was not the least bit interested in the fact that we have had no rain in a long time and it has be very hot and dry here. It did not bother her that the grass has turned brown and everything is wilting, including all of us.

Personally, I am hoping for a good, big storm with a lot of rain. Of course I think the whole state of Texas is hoping for rain too. Maybe we should all go outside and do a rain dance. When I walked out to the front of the house I looked at the sky. As I looked down the street in one direction the sky was blue. In the other direction, the sky was deeply dark and threatening. I have not seen clouds that dark in a while. The thunder rolls on, reminding me of who is in charge. Not me. As the thunder in the sky continues we all have crossed fingers and wish for some rain. Hey Buddy, can you spare a little rain? Please.